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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29951385">Distress tears</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wisdomoksori/pseuds/Wisdomoksori'>Wisdomoksori</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Boyz (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety Attacks, F/M, I Tried, M/M, Sweet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:48:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29951385</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wisdomoksori/pseuds/Wisdomoksori</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was moving day for Kevin and unfortunately for him, most of his friends couldn't help him, not even his new roommate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ji Changmin | Q/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Distress tears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was moving day for Kevin and unfortunately for him, most of his friends couldn't help him, not even his new roommate. Thankfully Changmin was able to make time for him. The two of them started to fill the truck with Kevin's boxes and suitcases, something that ended relatively quickly because his parents helped a bit. This was it, he was saying goodbye to his childhood, to home-cooked meals everyday, but he was also saying hello to the future he was so stressed and eagered to meet. Hello to privacy for the first time, Kevin thanked God. <br/>- Don't you forget to call us if there is anything that you need, okay? The first months of living alone are difficult and we are here for you Kevin. And don't forget Sunday night dinner young man. - the women said while hugging his son tightly. <br/>- I won't forget mom, I know you are there for me. And I'm not going to be living alone, Sunwee is my roommate. - He answered laughing, he knew what his mother thought about Sunwoo.<br/>- Living with that boy must be the same or worse than living alone... - a fake expression of anger appeared to be replaced by a slight chuckle. <br/>- Mom! He is my best friend. And we will be alright, don't worry, okay? - Kevin said, while giving her a kiss on the cheek and then rush to the truck, where Changmin was waiting for him. <br/>The boys got there in about 15 minutes, clearly Kevin wasn't moving for the location. <br/>They decided it would be better to download everything into the entrance of the building to dispatch the truck, which charged per hour, and then get everything to the 6th floor, apartment B. It wasn't difficult, but it was tiring for them since they weren't used to this type of workout, or any workout if we were talking about Kevin. The boxes weren't heavy, what was really heavy was the bed and the dresser, the only two pieces of furniture that Kevin brought with him. Everything else, books, clothes or little ornaments and pictures of his family, were in the boxes. Things he considered part of himself. Thankfully the doorman helped them take both the bed and the dresser upstairs, one more pair of hands were extremely helpful since the furniture was too big to fit in the elevator. Before taking the bed upstairs Kevin was really happy about finally getting a bigger bed, but while he was trying to get it to the 6th floor all happiness faded away as tiredness took its place. The dresser first and then the bed, those were the first two thing they left in Kevin's new room. That's when the room started to feel like his future home. After that they thanked the doorman for his help, and even though they insisted in paying something back to him, he refused saying he was just welcoming him to the building. <br/>- The heavy part is over Minnie, now we just have to unbox my stuff... - Kevin said while both of the boys lied on the bed resting from the hectic day they were having. - thanks for coming... I was so overwhelmed about all of this. <br/>- It's nothing, I'm happy to help. - and as always Changmin gave him a dimpled sweet smile that moved Kevin's heart. <br/>Kevin got up, grabbed the nearest box and opened it. It was full of his school books, he didn't have a desk yet so he couldn't unbox it, he carried on with the next one, still school stuff. The first three boxes that he got his hands on where all from school, did it ever end? Was that all there was of him? School? Wasn't there anything else interesting about him? He looked over to Changmin, where he was starting to store his clothes. Were his only possessions clothes and books? Was he that boring? He looked at Changmin again, he was the most goodlooking guy he met, he was a dancer and he was studying to become a veterinarian. He was one of the funniest and honestly scariest people he met. Why were they friends? Kevin was just so... so boring. <br/>His eyes went back to his books, this new year was going to be the hardest yet, so many books to read, so many tests, so many studying hours and not enough time. Why did he move? Why did he left his parents house? Why now? He wasn't ready, for any of it. He heard something break, something with glass in it. <br/>- Oh fuck... I'm sorry Kebbie... I'll buy you a new frame, okay? - Changmin said while giving Kevin his family portrait with the shattered glass. <br/>It broke, the only reminder that he wasn't alone, it was broken. He was alone, he would always be alone. He might as well face it now, no one was there with him, only Changmin, and he was sure he was there because he felt pitty on him. Kevin's arms wrapped tightly around himself, his nails started to dig into his skin, but he didn't feel it. Tears were falling aggressively and he couldn't help but scream. At first they were very low, but as pain grew, as the realization of his doom came to him, they became louder and louder. His nails were going deeper in his skin, but everything felt numb. His body was the cage of his tortured mind. The air around him reminded him of how far he was from love, from contact with others. Every noise was insignificant to him, he could hear everything, but not a muscle in him could move. His fingers kept on digging. Kevin fell. <br/>- Kevin? - Changmin asked scared. He had never seen his friend like this before. He moved everything on his way to get to him and hug him. He saw Kev's face and it seemed disfigured by sorrow, his screams pierced Changmin's ears and his tears pierced his heart. He was quick to grab his hands, stopping him from further hurting his arms. <br/>Changmin tried to get his friend to look at him in the eyes, but no matter how much he tried, he didn't feel present. His eyes were gone, far from their embrace. If Min couldn't bring him back with words, which seemed pointless, he would bring him back with his touch. Gently he picked him up and placed him as close as possible to his chest while kissing him on the head. With something as ephemeral as a kiss he put a stop to Kevin's painful screams. He walked to the bed and he sat down, without letting go of him. And they stayed like that for some time. It seemed that the anxiety attack was gone, but his tears were still present. <br/>Kevin started to gain his senses back, Changmin realized it when he felt his friend's hand start to cling onto him. It was very subtle, he was just adjusting himself in the embrace. He grabbed the collar of Min's shirt in his fist and he cried in his neck for a little longer. His tears were filled with distress and fear and in that moment he felt that Changmin's arms were the safest place on earth. <br/>- Everything is going to be okay Kebbie... You will never be alone, not as long as I'm here. - he said in a whisper. <br/>The tears were already dry on his skin when Kevin looked up to Min's eyes. He didn't know what he expected to find there, but he certainly wasn't expecting to see pure love in his eyes, eyes that glowed thanks to the small tears that filled them. He loosened the grip on Changmin's shirt to bring his hand up to his jaw, he stopped looking at his eyes to look at his lips. In a second their lips were already touching in a soft yet sad kiss. Even though Kevin felt his stomach twitch, he also felt his body regaining strength, life. He wanted to kiss Changmin forever, he didn't want their lips to ever be apart, to feel air between them when comfort was just so close. He knew that the moment when they would leave that beautiful closeness, they would never join their lips again. But when you get to touch haven on earth you know its never going to last. <br/>- Guys!! I'm home. - said Sunwoo the moment he opened the door to his and Kevin's shared apartment forcing them, without him knowing, to stop kissing. <br/>The moment their lips stopped touching they looked into each others eyes, and non of them could find not one bit of embarrassment or regret in their faces, but the fear creeped in their minds nonetheless. Kevin got up from Changmin's legs and went to greet his best friend. <br/>- Hey Sunwee, how was your exam?<br/>- Uhg don't call me that. - he said with a not too serious annoyed expression. - It went fine... I think.<br/>-  You always do great dude, don't worry. And even if you do worry... there is a lot to unpack to get your mind off of it. - Kevin said with a pleading smile. Sunwoo laughed slightly and nodded. <br/>Even though worry filled Changmin's heart, he had dance practice and couldn't stay. He, however, was certain that in the hands of Sunwoo, Kevin would be okay. He went out of the room and said goodbye to his friends. A part of Kevin felt somehow relieved that Min was leaving, he wasn't sure he could keep his cool around him after that kiss. He felt a hint of a bittersweet taste on his lips, the hope of ever kissing Min again left him completely. <br/>The two friends went to Kevin's room to keep on unpacking, instead they sat down on the bed and rested for a bit. <br/>- I kissed him. - kevin said bluntly and out of nowhere. <br/>- Yeah right... you kissed Changmin, your ultimate crush since forever. - as soon as Sunwoo saw Kevin's expression he knew he was telling the truth - OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU KISSED HIM? How? I mean... not to be a dick but you are kind of a coward. <br/>- Thanks Sunwee, you're so sweet to me. - he said while rolling his eyes, but it was beside the point how much of a asshole his friend was, he needed to tell him what happened before it started to drive him completely crazy - I had an anxiety attack... the worst one yet I think. One of my family portraits got broken and I just lost it... I started to overthink and you know how far that can go... <br/>- What were you thinking about? - Sunwoo left behind all playfulness and became completely serious, he knew very well that if Kevin started to talk to him about it so soon after it ended he could start panicking again, but he also knew how to stop that from happening - I'm here. <br/>- I got scared of not making it on my own, I felt alone... I know I'm not alone but still... I'm scared I won't be able to do the things I dream of, scared of all of you guys leaving me when you find out I'm not like you... I'm not interesting, I'm a boring guy that the only thing it does is study. - Kevin did his best to say everything that went through his mind, he couldn't help but minimalize his feelings, still he was proud of himself for not breaking down again while talking about this. Partly it was thanks to Sunwoo, who was hugging him and caressing his arm non stop to keep him present. Sunwoo knew that Kevin wasn't saying everything he thought of, but it was okay because he knew him, so he knew what kind of thoughts he was having. He understood how his anxiety worked. <br/>- You are not boring Kev, you are the funniest guy I know, the most caring person and you are also incredibly talented... it's going to be hard Kevin, I'm not going to lie to you, but you can do it. I know you can, and if you can't, I'll carry you the rest of the way, Okay? - Sunwoo heard Kevin cry, letting go of everything that he didn't manage to say. Sunwoo hugged him in silence, because he already said what Kevin needed to hear. <br/>- When I started to scream and scratch my arms he picked me up and we sat together like that. He was hugging me really tight till I regained my consciousness. And I don't know what it was, but I felt safe, so I looked at him and... well I kissed him. - Kevin said as soon as he managed to stop crying. He slightly chuckled when he saw Sunwoo's shocked expression. <br/>- AND? Don't leave me like this dude. <br/>- ...And he kissed me back. <br/>- DUDE.<br/>- I'm sure he did it just because of the state I was in, he doesnt like me back. - Sunwoo face-palmed himself when he heard Kevin say that. They continued to argue if Changmin liked Kevin back or not, but the both of them were way too stubborn to cave. <br/>Sunwoo told Kevin to go and cook something for them while he finished unpacking his friend's stuff. He hoped that if he finished tidying up soon he could convince Kevin to go drinking with him after dinner. He, too, needed to de-stress. <br/>It didn't took long for them to get ready and go to the nearest bar. They sat down in a table and ordered two beers, they talked and laughed for a while till Sunwoo saw a girl sitting by the bar. She had short blue hair and a black tight dress, she was with a friend. Sunwoo wasn't entirely sure how to describe the person other than pretty. <br/>- Hey Kev, see the pretty blue hair girl over there? <br/>- Yeah, What about her? - Kevin said already feeling bitter, knowing Sunwoo was going to ditch him... again. <br/>- I'm going to talk to her and the person next to her and invite them to come to our table, but I'm not entirely sure how to adress the person next to her, is he a boy? I'm honestly confused. <br/>- Just go and ask them for their pronouns dude, it's not that complicated. - Kevin said while rolling his eyes. He was somehow happy that Sunwoo wasn't leaving just yet. <br/>Sun approached them and said hello. They seemed rather surprised that he was talking to them, but they weren't annoyed by it. He asked for their names and pronouns. The pretty girl's name was Jihye and she used she/her pronouns. Her friend's name was Lonnie, and he used he/they pronouns. Sunwoo didn't understand much about the different pronouns, but he didn't have to understand to be respectful and nice to people. It was none of his business anyones gender or pronouns. They decided to follow him to his table and started a nice conversation with Kevin. The flirting between Sunwoo and Jihye was beyond obvious and Lonnie and Kevin were just laughing about it. They didn't mind, they were having a conversation of their own. Kevin was sure that he had met a nice guy with who he would have liked to date if it wasn't for his crush on Changmin. <br/>Jihye and Sunwoo went to get more drinks for the four of them. His hand found it's way to her waist, it was a very soft and shy touch, like he was testing the waters. A smile grew in her face as she turned to face him, while placing her hand on his chest. She looked at his lips very shortly, but noticeable, and then at his eyes. Sunwoo, usually, handled this kind of stuff very well, but in that moment, he had no idea what to say. <br/>- I forgot my wallet. - Jihye said ready to head back to the table. <br/>- Don't worry, I'm paying. - he said when he regained his composure. She smiled and waited for him to start walking towards the bar once more. <br/>They talked for a bit, but their words weren't that important. Her hand was now almost at his neck, and his was in her waist pulling her closer. The were waiting for their drinks, but the amount of people that was there waiting was enough for them to keep their closeness. <br/>- You know... we could go somewhere else, our friends will be okay. - he said pulling her even closer. <br/>- Ooh hold on there cowboy... I barely know you and a girl has to be careful. - Jihye said to his ear, while she caressed his neck. - Let's drink and maybe, just maybe, I'll say yes next time. - After she said that, she placed her hand on his jaw and gave him a slight kiss on the cheek. The drinks came and she took hers and Lonnie's to their table. <br/>At first their conversation was a little bit awkward, but when they started to talk about their Hogwarst houses, everything went on smoothly. So well, that Jihye actually gave Sunwoo her number before she and her friend left. <br/>- You know, I have to say... I'm surprised that you didn't leave with her. That's what you usually do. - Kevin said, while drinking his third beer, starting to act a bit tipsy. <br/>- I asked, she said no. But you know, I might as well get to know her, what could go wrong? - Sunwoo said with a half smile on his face. He had commitment issues, but every once in a while he met someone who made him feel he could get pass them. It never worked out, but he still wanted to feel loved. <br/>Sunwoo and Kevin went home, they weren't that far away from their apartment so they walked. It felt freeing for them to walk under the night, with the air caressing their bodies, feeling so light weight for once. All their problems, their fears, went away with the cold. Tomorrow their new life started, and with that, their sorrows would grow and carry on in their hearts. They hoped they were strong enough to handle them. Kevin knew he wasn't and Sunwoo was stronger than he should, shielding himself from more than he should.</p>
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